A Downward Spiral

It was that surgery that sent my whole life and overall health into a downward spiral. It significantly increased all of my endo symptoms, leading to countless doctor’s visits and a very scary ER visit. And all of this was because I was misinformed by my doctor – a reason I have chosen to share my story.  

But I digress. The pain suddenly became very real. It was impacting my ability to function, work, and conceive. As you can imagine, this affected my mental health.  

Over time, the depression and anxiety gradually increased. It left me feeling like I was an inadequate wife, an unreliable employee, and an overall burden to those around me. I suddenly felt every reality that I see my patients go through every day.  

Understandably, all these changes in my overall well-being were making an impact on my life and relationships. Gradually I realized who and what was causing me more stress, depression, anxiety, and frustration.  

And so, I took note and made the necessary changes to protect my heart, mind, and body. Today I’m sharing the three things that significantly decreased the amount of stress I feel; ultimately leading to a decrease in symptoms.  

I talked to my employer. 

At my core, I am a very hard-working, self-driven, and ambitious person. So, when my endometriosis symptoms started to consistently affect my attendance and productivity, I felt it was in my best interest to open up to my supervisor about my health status.  

Since then, I have been able to work with my supervisor to increase my productivity and that of our team. Additionally, having the support and understanding of my supervisor has led to improved symptom management and my ability to return to full-time status; something I am very proud of.  

If you are struggling with working, I highly encourage you to open up a conversation with your employer. You may ultimately find that it benefits you. This article is an excellent resource for how to approach the conversation (but keep in mind that it has an incorrect definition of endo. If you choose to explain your diagnosis to your employer, then see above for an accurate definition. 

I embraced distance! 

After opening up to my friends and family about my diagnosis, it became very apparent who my true supporters are. Those are the people I have kept close to me throughout this entire endo journey. Not to say that I’ve completely cut people out of my life, but I’ve definitely stopped caring so much about people who didn’t care about me.  

I used to be so invested in the lives of so many friends and family members. I was always trying to be there for them, helping them, giving them advice. And then I would get so upset when I saw that they still were left in difficult situations. I took on their burdens, as my own. Pair that with all the nursing care I provide my patients and I was left with so much stress. Although I can handle a high amount of stress, I still have my limits. So, I started distancing myself from the people who caused me more stress. 

And let me tell you, it has been liberating! Not to say that I don’t care about those people anymore, but I now am able to have that boundary, while still wishing them the absolute best.  

If you have people in your life that are draining you of your energy, or putting more stress on your body/mind, then I want you to know that you have full permission to just let that shit go! Right now, in this moment when your health is at its worse, you are priority. You cannot fill another person’s cup with an empty cup of your own. Take care of yourself warrior. You deserve it! 

I stopped feeling obligated to attend family functions. 

My 4-year battle with infertility has really impeded my ability to handle conversations and situations that revolve around my parenthood status. Every day I am put in situations that remind me of the difficulties that my husband and I have had with infertility.  

No one can prepare you for the emotional and physical toll infertility can have on your body, relationships, and mental status. And, even after all these years of trying to conceive, it hasn’t gotten easier. 

Intermittent sightings of pregnant women have left me with intermittent bouts of depression. Likewise, the constant dodging of conversations focused on parenthood leaves me feeling tired and alone; even when I know that 1 in 8 couples will struggle with infertility. Basically, public and work environments lead to inevitable situations that can trigger me into a state of depression.  

And although I cannot control every situation I am in, I do know that there are others that I can control. Meaning, I have the ability to avoid situations that I know will leave me feeling inadequate, sad, depressed, and the like.  

Since the beginning of this year, I have decided to no longer attend family functions that center around children. More specifically, I avoid anything baby related; baby showers, baptisms, first birthdays, kids’ birthdays, etc. I have learned that I can be happy for someone, while still being protective of my heart. I also no longer let myself feel bad for declining an invitation.  

If you struggle with infertility, then you know exactly where I am coming from. And I hope this makes you feel a little less alone.  

Finding Resiliency with Intentional Living 

With these three steps I have taken, I have noticed a significant improvement in my overall well-being and my ability to cope with physical, mental, and emotional stress. In all honestly, I consider these to be the most important steps I have taken to improve my health, career, and happiness. 

Even if these aren’t the right steps for you, I hope you can now take a moment to evaluate your life and the things that may be impeding your ability to improve your health and well-being. Ultimately, being intentional with your actions is key to success! If you’re interested, you can read about living intentionally with endometriosis HERE.

In the end, I only aim to empower you to take control of the many things that you CAN control, despite your endometriosis diagnosis. Stay strong warrior. You got this!